The UN took my lunch money!! (finally)

I have come to the conclusion, that my writing will one day get me killed. I've accepted it, and I hope you can too. So, without any further ado, pomp or circumstance, I say unto you, my dearest readers, it's been a trip. ~<~@

Picture it. A warm but somewhat dismal, Ohio-gray (yes, I will be sending that color in for patent consideration) day. Me, in my usual position (in front of one of my computers), lazily wasting the hours away before I have to drive to work. Then, the sadly familiar attempt at suspenseful music blazes through the air, breaking up the monotony. Courtesy of the 24 hour news channel that I usually keep on for background noise, flashes a flaming red breaking news graphic across the screen. Ahmadinejad is on his way to speak with those liberal bastards at Columbia University...EVERYBODY PANIC! I could feel the long-suppressed giddiness of my former child rise up in my chest, anticipating the good old fashioned riot that was about to take place. The stage was set. Picket signs and Crayola-covered poster boards waving in the air, news helicopters swarming overhead, and photojournalists falling all over each other to get just one shot of Evil Incarnate. Perfection.

While activists from every side crowded to try and intimidate a man who has been affectionately nicknamed "The Hitler of Our Generation", I drooled with anticipation -- and popped some popcorn. This was going to be awesome. He brazenly walked by his naysayers, smiling, shadowed by a small army of security guards. The media and audiences alike were wetting themselves -- completely captivated by his presence. I was amazed at the sheer volume of attention this story was getting. Clearly he had us right where he wanted us. Imagine the film being sent back to Iran. Throngs of Americans line the streets just to catch a glimpse of their president, when barely a thousand show up for Bush. Ironic?

As I was watched these events unfold, I simultaneously talked with three of my friends via the wonder's of my cell phone and the courtesy of my chosen IM service. This is what we had all been waiting for. Its better than (insert holiday (marketing extravaganza) of your choice here). I couldn't believe that we could actually discuss everything together...in "real time". First of all, let me say, that the President of the University, Lee Bollinger, has some balls of steel...or titanium or something, he got up there and tore Mahmoud Ahmadinejad a new one -- via a translator. Our translator via MSN seemed to be very emotional on the topic, and during Ahmadinejad's response, seemed to become very invested in expressing the heat of the argument between the men. Although, his response for me just semeed like a lesson in intercontinental whining -- hence the title of this blog.

I sat in silent anticipation, hoping that at any second we'd here the quintessential POP POP POP and people would start running like cattle running from the slaughterhouse. Not because I wanted to see anyone actually get hurt, but because this seemed to be the prime setting for something like an assassination attempt to occur (and for the simple fact that it would be a large enough event to stop the Britney Spears custody battle coverage -- a girl can dream can't she?) . Given the not so newfound contempt the Bush Administration seems to have acquired in recent months, it's only a matter of time before there is an "accidentally" push the big red button -- except this time I'm pretty sure, his people will have the ability to fight back.

UPDATE: While I'd like to give a play by play of the speech, my time spent watching it was cut short because I had to go to work. And, although I could look up the speech and experience it's glory again, somehow I feel that that would not be true to form...considering the lapse in time that has occurred between the day it happened, and today (a little over a month after said speech occurred). Better late than never I say! For now I'm just going to relish in the memories that I have, of a man who was willing to step up to that nicely lacquered podium and call out a man who makes no apologies for how "evil" he has become, and the retaliation that occurred thereafter. Just think, outside of the massive amounts of PR this served up for him, from Ahmadinejad's perspective...this was an intellectual debate between two professors. Yay global politics. "Intellectualism" strikes again.